Kingpin price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
doyoumind.wav(495K) doyoumind.mp3(495K) doyoumind.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ernie McCracken (Bill Murry): "It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst."
Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson): "Hey! Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling."
Ernie McCracken: "Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck."
perfume.wav(47K) perfume.mp3(47K) perfume.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ernie McCracken: "Do me a favor will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?"
hinotyouhi.wav(66K) hinotyouhi.mp3(66K) hinotyouhi.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ernie McCracken: "Hi."
Older Lady In Diner: "Hi."
Ernie McCracken: "Not you. Hi."
Younger Lady In Diner: "Hi."
flipflop.wav(277K) flipflop.mp3(277K) flipflop.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "I... I don't know about this Mr. McCracken. Something doesn't seem right."
Ernie McCracken: "Well, it takes guts to say no kid. You got a lot of courage. I don't think I could call my mommy and daddy and tell them I didn't have what it takes to make it on the tour. Alright, lets get going. You better call them before they go to sleep. Come on. Hurry up."
Roy Munson: "Alright."
Ernie McCracken: "Nice flip flop. Way to go."
not_legal.wav(41K) not_legal.mp3(41K) not_legal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Are you sure this is legal?"
Ernie McCracken: "I don't know. It's fun though isn't it?"
getsick.wav(107K) getsick.mp3(107K) getsick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mike: "ROy, can you get sick drinking piss?"
Roy Munson: "I think you can."
Mike: "Even if it's your own?"
thering.wav(191K) thering.mp3(191K) thering.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid): "How come you know so much about bowling?"
Roy Munson: "Well, maybe this will help explain it to you."
Ishmael: "Wow. That's really something. What's that made out of?"
Roy Munson: "14-karat gold."
Ishmael: "Really? Looks like rubber."
Roy Munson: "No. The ring, not the hand."
loser.wav(76K) loser.mp3(76K) loser.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "I hope you rot it hell you loser! You suck! You don't deserve a car!"
freebies.wav(269K) freebies.mp3(269K) freebies.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Where's the milk for the cofee?"
Store Clerk (Clint Allen): "We're all out."
Roy Munson: "Well' what do you call that, in the cooler?"
Store Clerk: "Well, if you want to buy some, help yourself, but the freebies are all out."
Roy Munson: "Buy some? What, I got to buy mustard if I get a hot dog?"
Store Clerk: "If the freebies are out yeah."
precious.wav(204K) precious.mp3(204K) precious.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Oh, absolutely precious."
Mother with Carriage (Hillary Matthews): "Yeah"
Roy Munson: "(Roy spills coffee on the baby.) That'll come out. Treasure these special times. Oh, look at you. Coochy coochy. Did you burn your little fingers?"
newspaper.wav(124K) newspaper.mp3(124K) newspaper.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Purse Snatcher (Willie Garson): "Where's your newspaper? I gotta take a dump."
Roy Munson: "I don't have a paper."
Purse Snatcher: "I gotta crap. I need something to read."
Roy Munson: "Here, use this shampoo."
Purse Snatcher: "New and improved, I read this already. You got any of that new Mentadent?"
younogood.wav(141K) younogood.mp3(141K) younogood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Landlady (Lin Shaye): "Why you no good son-of-a-bitch! "
Roy Munson: "You crazy bastard. How the hell did you get in here? Now get out!"
Purse Snatcher: "That'll be 100 now you prick."
Roy Munson: "And don't come back."
goodsex.wav(99K) goodsex.mp3(99K) goodsex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Landlady: "What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? I guess it's all that pumpin'. Pump and dump."
jarred.wav(22K) jarred.mp3(22K) jarred.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Landlady: "You really jarred something loose tiger."
tongue.wav(70K) tongue.mp3(70K) tongue.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Landlady: "You still owe me another months rent. So, if I were you, I would start doing some tongue exercises before friday."
children.wav(46K) children.mp3(46K) children.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. Boorg Ishmael's Dad (William Jordan): "How many children do you have Brother Hezakiah?"
Roy Munson: "None that I know of."
yourcow.wav(183K) yourcow.mp3(183K) yourcow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Morning! I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early. So I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up. She sure is a stubborn one. Then pow, all at once."
Mr. Boorg: "We don't have a cow. We have a bull."
notforgiving.wav(144K) notforgiving.mp3(144K) notforgiving.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Brother Thomas, you know what it says in the Bible about not forgiving people."
Thomas (Zen Gesner): "Why don't you tell us all what it says Brother Hezakiah."
Roy Munson: "Well, it's a... It's against it."
threeholes.wav(175K) threeholes.mp3(175K) threeholes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay."
Roy Munson: "Yeah, well, he blessed you too. And I'll give you a clue what it is. It's round. It has three holes. And you stick your fingers into it."
Ishmael: "You leave Rebecca out of this mister."
Roy Munson: "I'm talking about bowling, your future."
trytoquit.wav(189K) trytoquit.mp3(189K) trytoquit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "You really should try to quit Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs, it quickens the aging process."
Roy Munson: "Is that right? Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it's harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke."
coffee.wav(188K) coffee.mp3(188K) coffee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "I don't drink coffee."
Roy Munson: "Why not?"
Ishmael: "Because, it's a stimulant"
Roy Munson: "What the hell do you think cigarettes are?"
Ishmael: "They are? Alright, make it an extra large, two sugars, lots of cream."
whoa1.wav(14K) whoa1.mp3(14K) whoa1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
whoa.wav(18K) whoa.mp3(18K) whoa.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Whoa! (From the trailer.)"
watchyou.wav(18K) watchyou.mp3(18K) watchyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "I gotta watch you."
testicles.wav(122K) testicles.mp3(122K) testicles.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Hey coach, liston to this. English bulldog, one testicle, $500. Wow, for that kind of money, you'd get two testicles. Don't you think?"
bananna.wav(103K) bananna.mp3(103K) bananna.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Uh uh."
Roy Munson: "Hey."
Roy Munson: "Ish. Ish."
Roy Munson: "Hey!"
Ishmael: "No way!"
Roy Munson: "Liston you stupid bananna head, you don't have to bet. I'll bet for you."
Ishmael: "Oh, that's cool."
hustle.wav(763K) hustle.mp3(763K) hustle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
McKnight Bowl Bartender (Sean Gildea): "So, you two are dictionary salesmen?"
Roy Munson: "You would be punctilious in assuming that."
McKnight Bowl Bartender: "Your buddy tells me you're the best salesman in the whole company. You must be a pretty smooth talker. "
Roy Munson: "You don't have to read them to sell them, you know. So, Steve, what do you say we bowl a couple of games? Steve? Yo, Steve-arino."
Ishmael: "Oh, right. Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, hey? But, I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so bombed."
McKnight Bowl Bartender: "You get that way when you drink ginger ale?"
Roy Munson: "Oh, no, he was sniffinf glue in the parking lot."
McKnight Bowl Bartender: "I haven't heard this one in a while. How does the rest of this hustle work?"
Roy Munson: "Nice going, De Niro."
Ishmael: "It's "Steve." What, you want to blow the whole thing?"
jugs.wav(70K) jugs.mp3(70K) jugs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Claudia (Vanessa Angel): "Does any else want one?"
Roy Munson: "Yeah, I'll take a couple of jugs... mugs... bottle... one bottle."
monkey.wav(111K) monkey.mp3(111K) monkey.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Claudia: "Where do you get something like that?"
Roy Munson: "Prosthetics-R-Us, aisle six. Right next to the glass eyeballs."
Claudia: "Must be tough when you're spanking your monkey."
Ishmael: "You have a monkey?"
einstein.wav(75K) einstein.mp3(75K) einstein.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Claudia: "Look Mr. Munster, You're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across."
Roy Munson: "Oh yeah, and who are you, Alfred Einstein?"
takethat.wav(41K) takethat.mp3(41K) takethat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Take that you freaky piece of bleep! You don't mow another guy's lawn."
cahoots.wav(198K) cahoots.mp3(198K) cahoots.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Hey, I did Ish a favor. If I hadn't knocked him out, those animals would have torn him apart. That's the thanks I get."
Claudia: "You didn't have to have beers with them afterwards."
Roy Munson: "Well, I didn't want them to think that we were in cahoots."
Claudia: "Well I think you cleared that up when you rubbed Tobasco in his eyes."
flossin.wav(192K) flossin.mp3(192K) flossin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "What you doing there Mr. Munson?"
Roy Munson: "Flossin? Where'd I get Munson from?'."
Roy Munson: "The name's Munson. What I'm doing is flossing. This is called floss. You aught to try it some time. You'd be amazed what you find."
mysack.wav(181K) mysack.mp3(181K) mysack.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Just be quiet."
Roy Munson: "Oooh! I think I tore my sack."
Ishmael: "Are you okay Mr. Munson?"
Roy Munson: "Shhhh. What did I just say?"
Ishmael: "I think I tore my sack?"
Roy Munson: "No. Be quiet."
evacuated.wav(177K) evacuated.mp3(177K) evacuated.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "The army evacuated everybody."
Roy Munson: "Yeah, a big military train derailed and this whole area is in danger of being contaminated by a huge cloud of... Shit!"
Ishmael: "A huge cloud of bleep? Wow. I think I smell it. Come on let's go."
cloud.wav(40K) cloud.mp3(40K) cloud.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Hey everybody, there's a bleep cloud coming. Run for your lives."
widefoot.wav(34K) widefoot.mp3(34K) widefoot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "You must have a really wide foot. You got both of 'em."
hairdos.wav(29K) hairdos.mp3(29K) hairdos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Half the dresses you got, you need two hairdos to wear."
beginnings.wav(103K) beginnings.mp3(103K) beginnings.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Claudia: "What do you think about new beginnings?"
Roy Munson: "What is that, the feminine hygene spray?"
Claudia: "You and me starting over."
notforgiving2.wav(105K) notforgiving2.mp3(105K) notforgiving2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Ish, you remember what it says in the Bible about not forgiving right?"
Ishmael: "I know exactly what it says. It's against it."
jeffersons.wav(37K) jeffersons.mp3(37K) jeffersons.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Jeffersons on Ice, look at that. I love Sherman Helmsley!"
interview.wav(234K) interview.mp3(234K) interview.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
T.V. Interviewer (Jane Pratt): "So, which opponent poses the biggest threat to you in the tournament?"
Ernie McCracken: "Me. If I get drunk and fall down and hurt myself, I might lose. Sure babe. What's your name?"
Ernie McCracken: "I'm in 1103."
T.V. Interviewer: "Excuse me, what's the story behind this pending paternity suit against you?"
Ernie McCracken: "Oh, that's not a case at all. The woman's a stone-face liar. Let's not even talk about that. I pulled out of her really early on that one. Sorry, thanks for coming."
goodlookin.wav(133K) goodlookin.mp3(133K) goodlookin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Excuse me. Where's the lady who's staying here?"
Silver Legacy Maid (Elizabeth Jordan): "She checked out already."
Silver Legacy Maid (Cynthia Farrelly Gesner): "She left with a couple of guys."
Roy Munson: "Couple of guys, no, you mean you saw her with us right?"
Silver Legacy Maid: "No, these guys we're good looking."
psycho.wav(16K) psycho.mp3(16K) psycho.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "Who you callin' a psycho!"
proposition.wav(257K) proposition.mp3(257K) proposition.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
The Gambler (Chris Elliott): "Well, look, I've uh, got a little proposition for you."
Roy Munson: "I'm all ears."
The Gambler: "I will pay you One Million Dollars to sleep with your friend here. One million Dollars, one night, cash. I'll just throw that out. You two mull it over. Get back to me, I'll be bace here."
proposition2.wav(43K) proposition2.mp3(43K) proposition2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
The Gambler: "I will pay you One Million Dollars to sleep with your friend here."
schmuck.wav(209K) schmuck.mp3(209K) schmuck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "We are going to do what we set out to do. We are going to win that tournament."
Roy Munson: "Yes! I knew it. I knew you were a champion the minute I saw you bowl Ish."
Ishmael: "I'm not gonna bowl, you are."
Roy Munson: "You are such a loser. You're a bonified schmuck. Look at me!"
fatherless.wav(702K) fatherless.mp3(702K) fatherless.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ernie McCracken: "I'm Ernie McCracken. When I found out that little Billy here was growing up without a daddy, I had to do something."
Unified Fund Mom: "When Big Ern saw our picture in the paper, he called the Unified Fund and got involved."
Ernie McCracken: "I had to. I couldn't help myself. But little Billy's not the only one. There's also little Jason here. Once agani this year, I'll be sponsering a fatherless family in every city I bowl in."
Jason: "Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, Mr. McCracken's already there."
Ernie McCracken: "Jonathan, run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line. (He snaps up the mom's skirt.) Tennessee! Kentucky! Find the meat! Uh, deeper, Jonathan. It's a tough world. These kids nearly got Munsoned, but they're back now. Through the Unified Fund, I found out that if you give a little, you can get back a whole lot more."
athletes.wav(62K) athletes.mp3(62K) athletes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Wow, it's kind of intimidating to be in the presence of so many great athletes."
screwdrv.wav(29K) screwdrv.mp3(29K) screwdrv.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Roy Munson: "You wouldn't happen to have a phillups head screw driver would you?"
drinking.wav(359K) drinking.mp3(359K) drinking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
ESPN Announcer: "So Roy, let me ask you, what have you been doing for all these years?"
Roy Munson: "Uh, well, the... the uh... After... after the hand... There... there,,, No, there was the 80's. You know, for a while... (Roy clears his throat.) Drinking. A lot of drinking."
ESPN Announcer: "Uh, are you still drinking?"
Roy Munson: "No, no, no. I... I don't... That's, that's behind me now. I just... Why, you buying?"
barfing.wav(111K) barfing.mp3(111K) barfing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "What you doing in there Mr. Munson?"
Roy Munson: "Barfing."
Ishmael: "Barfing? Where do I keep getting Munson from?"
whenidont.wav(81K) whenidont.mp3(81K) whenidont.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Have you been drinking again?"
Roy Munson: "I don't puke when I drink. I puke when I don't."
attaboy.wav(23K) attaboy.mp3(23K) attaboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bowling Fan: "Atta boy, Luther!"
need_you.wav(31K) need_you.mp3(31K) need_you.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ernie McCracken: "I need you now! More than ever I need you!"
winder.wav(194K) winder.mp3(194K) winder.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Claudia: "Hey Roy, I have something for you."
Roy Munson: "Oh wow. You got it working."
Claudia: "Yeah, I wound it."
Roy Munson: "Oh, it has a winder."
make_it.wav(24K) make_it.mp3(24K) make_it.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ishmael: "Please make it! Please make it! Please make it! (From the trailer.)"