Say It Isn't So price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
outofwork.wav(104K) outofwork.mp3(104K) outofwork.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilbert 'Gilly' Noble(Chris Klein): "Bring her a puppy, Larry. She'll love that."
Larry Falwell (John Rothman): "What the hell is this?"
Animal Shelter Guy (Austin Stark): "It's a russian Pomeranian, Larry."
Larry: "Nah, I don't want him pitting any American dogs out of work."
cusine.wav(230K) cusine.mp3(230K) cusine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "This is fine cusine, Mrs. P."
Ruthie Falwell (Julie White): "It's takeout, Gilly, from Pizza Hut. Larry hates my cooking."
Larry: "That's not true, Ruthie. You know I..."
Ruthie: "That's why he never comes home for dinner."
Larry: "I'm never home for dinner because I'm out there busting my ass."
Ruthie: "If you were busting your ass, how come it's the size of a bleepdamn beanbag chair?"
popular.wav(442K) popular.mp3(442K) popular.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Larry: "If you'd put out once in a while, maybe I wouldn't be seeking carnal pleasure in food."
Cher Falwell (Courtney Peldon): "All right! Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think a child should ever be made to picture her parents humping. I don't tell you about my sex life."
Larry: "You're not having sex. Are you having sex?"
Ruthie: "Cher, tell daddy you're kidding. She's kidding. She doesn't even have a boyfriend."
Cher: "You don't need to have a boyfriend to be having sex. I'm just saying that a boy doesn't have to be a friend to be nibbling my package."
Larry: "What the... Are you..."
Buddy Falwell (Matthew Peters): "I think she's saying she's a whore, Pop."
Cher: "Pervert! I am not! I'm just popular."
fagnostic.wav(120K) fagnostic.mp3(120K) fagnostic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Buddy: "How come you don't have a girlfriend anyhow? My dad says it's because you're confused about your sexuality."
Larry: "No, I never said that."
Cher: "I believe the term he used was 'fagnostic'."
Buddy: "Right, fagnostic."
pierced.wav(107K) pierced.mp3(107K) pierced.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Cher: "I got my ears piecred because I like it, okay. And I got these pierced because I hate you!"
Buddy: "Hey, that was you on the internet."
shrink.wav(298K) shrink.mp3(298K) shrink.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Larry: "I mean, this is the kind of thing that make a man want to bludgeon his family and go on a three-day drunk."
Gilly: "That's pretty serious talk, Larry. Maybe you should be speaking to a professional about these things."
Larry: "You mean a hitman? No, man. That's the easiest way to get caught. Unless you did it."
Gilly: "I was talking about a shrink, Larry."
Larry: "Get real, man. That's for crazy people."
dinner.wav(87K) dinner.mp3(87K) dinner.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "I don't want you to feel like you owe me dinner just because I found your cat and you cut off my ear."
Josephine Wingfield (Heather Graham): "Well, I do owe you dinner. Now just say yes or else I just might cut off your other ear."
catpiss.wav(103K) catpiss.mp3(103K) catpiss.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine Wingfield (Sally Field): "You ought to be fixin' dinner for Jack. You know, a ban who wants to marry you, dot some dogcatcher who makes 18 grand a year and comes home smellin' like cat piss every night."
iwantabeer.wav(32K) iwantabeer.mp3(32K) iwantabeer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter Wingfield (Richard Jenkins): "I want a beer bleepdamn it."
walmart.wav(110K) walmart.mp3(110K) walmart.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "I want a beer bleepdamn it."
Valdine: "Now, look, you curb your language or I'm gonna take this Voc-a-lator 3000 right back to Walmart. You hear me?"
giveme.wav(27K) giveme.mp3(27K) giveme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Give me a bleepdamn beer."
pusdrained.wav(57K) pusdrained.mp3(57K) pusdrained.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jo: "How's your ear?"
Gilly: "Oh, it's okay. I got all the pus drained out of it."
robot.wav(54K) robot.mp3(54K) robot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Close the bleepdamn door."
Gilly: "You have a robot?"
tourettes.wav(133K) tourettes.mp3(133K) tourettes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Oh golf, huh? Seems every time I play I get Tourettes syndrome. You know, 'Fore! Shit, damn, crap. Fore! Shit, damn, crap.'."
dipBLEEP.wav(91K) dipBLEEP.mp3(91K) dipBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Turn it to channel seven, dipbleep."
Gilly: "Whoa! You can say 'dipbleep' with that thing. That's neat."
withabat.wav(107K) withabat.mp3(107K) withabat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "So, Willy, what do they pay you down there for gassing strays?"
Gilly: "Uh, no, ma'am, I don't gas them."
Valdine: "Oh, what do you do, hit them with a bat?"
thecorns.wav(37K) thecorns.mp3(37K) thecorns.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Easy on the corns, Dr. Dolittle."
honeymoon.wav(39K) honeymoon.mp3(39K) honeymoon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Ho hey, hey, don't go back there. We got to save something for the honeymoon."
assjack.wav(131K) assjack.mp3(131K) assjack.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Hey, Jo. Who's Jack?"
Jo: "What Jack?"
Gilly: "You know, on your ass jack."
nottobrag.wav(128K) nottobrag.mp3(128K) nottobrag.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "NOw, don't bad mouth Suzanne. She got me though my awkward teenage years."
Jo: "Do you mean you beat off to her?"
Gilly: "Not to brag, but up to five times a day."
r2d2.wav(209K) r2d2.mp3(209K) r2d2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "You gotta understand. I had just had little Jo, and we were straped for cash, and then I found out I was pregnant again with you! Old R2D2 couldn't keep it in his pants back then. And now he can't even wipe his own ass!"
burden.wav(126K) burden.mp3(126K) burden.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "I just didn't know how I was gonna feed everybody. And you were such a hungry child. I fugured the best thing to do was to give you away, you know, to someone who wouldn't resent you for your burden."
ponied.wav(30K) ponied.mp3(30K) ponied.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "Sweet lord. You ponied your sister."
usedtowork.wav(186K) usedtowork.mp3(186K) usedtowork.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stewart 'Maggot" (Ezra Buzzington): "It looks like Cougar tread. I used to work in a tire store, you know."
Gilly: "Yeah? Well, I used to work at the animal shelter."
Larry: "Hey. Gilly, you know I had no choice. You know what it feels like when the newspapers call you the boss of a sister bleeper? The whole damn town thinks I'm runnin' a 'sisterbleeperia'."
haircut.wav(91K) haircut.mp3(91K) haircut.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "I thought you were gonna get a haircut."
Valdine: "Now, Walter, hush. Gilly's been through a lot."
Gilly: "Including his own sister."
vaginatarian.wav(84K) vaginatarian.mp3(84K) vaginatarian.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Oh, hell. After what you put her through, it's a wonder she didn't quit the sausage and become a vaginatarian."
hebanged.wav(48K) hebanged.mp3(48K) hebanged.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "He banged his own sister, for christ's sakes. What do you want to give him a medal?"
biblesays.wav(63K) biblesays.mp3(63K) biblesays.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Do you know mhat the bible says about bleeping your own sister? Dont!"
sackof.wav(48K) sackof.mp3(48K) sackof.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Well, if he's your son, who the hell is this sack of bleep?"
hippie.wav(30K) hippie.mp3(30K) hippie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Get out of my house, you bleepdamn hippie!"
mylegsoff.wav(277K) mylegsoff.mp3(277K) mylegsoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig McCaffrey (Orlando Jones): "Hey' Mr. Magoo! You knocked my freawin' legs off, daddy. Were you even lookin' at the road?"
Gilly: "I'm sorry! Oh, my god, I've never hit anyone before!"
Dig: "Well, I'm glad to be your first. HOpe I was gentle. NOw be a friend and fetch my getaway sticks, daddy."
Gilly: "Your what? What do you..."
Dig: "My legs, captain! My legs!"
Gilly: "Oh, bleep."
Dig: "Less feces, more fetchin'. Get over here and get it, boy."
onmycard.wav(146K) onmycard.mp3(146K) onmycard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "You make a lot of coin flying those gigs nobody else wants. I take sportsmen out to the bush, fly banners over supermarket openings, some crop dustin'. Hell, I'll fly up your ass if the money's right. Hey, that's pretty good. You think I ought to put that on my card?"
beaver.wav(126K) beaver.mp3(126K) beaver.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "So, where am I taking you?"
Dig: "As close to Beaver as you can get. And a mon as sexy and fertile as me likes to stay close to the beaver. That's a good one there."
letmedrive.wav(108K) letmedrive.mp3(108K) letmedrive.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "You look like you're draggin' there, chief. Why don't you let me drive?"
Gilly: "Oh, no. That's fine."
Dig: "I'm wired. Nothin' like gettin' bounced off a bumper to put a cat on full tilt."
launchpad.wav(68K) launchpad.mp3(68K) launchpad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "So, where's your launchpad, Kerouac?"
Gilly: "My what?"
Dig: "Where you from, baby? Where you from?"
whiteline.wav(388K) whiteline.mp3(388K) whiteline.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooohoo! Just a little case of the white line fever! That's all, baby! Dig just needs a little music. Rock 'n' roll, baby! I'd like to see somebody fall asleep to this bleep here. Ted Nugent! 'When in doubt, I whip it out. I got me a rock 'n' roll band. It's a free for all.' Na na na na na na na..."
Gilly: "Hey, Dig!"
Dig: "Hey! Are you crazy? I'm wired like a microwave, baby!"
wiredlike.wav(42K) wiredlike.mp3(42K) wiredlike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Are you crazy? I'm wired like a microwave, baby!"
flippin.wav(21K) flippin.mp3(21K) flippin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Well good luck flippin' that coin, daddy."
notsuing.wav(69K) notsuing.mp3(69K) notsuing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Oh! Oh, Dig, thanks for not suing me."
Dig: "A pleasure bein' hit by a man of your caliber."
thepervert.wav(20K) thepervert.mp3(20K) thepervert.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gina (Sarah Silverman): "Do you have a description of the pervert, ma'am?"
landscape.wav(67K) landscape.mp3(67K) landscape.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jo: "So, would you like the standard bikini wax?"
Mrs. Hartunian (Dolores Drake): "Oh, no. I'm going to Hawaii with my husband. Better landscape the whole yard."
borntoyank.wav(146K) borntoyank.mp3(146K) borntoyank.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mrs. Hartunian: "So, do you ever miss cutting hair, Jo?"
Jo: "Oh, no, not really. I mean, my heart wasn't into it like it is with bikini waxing. I guess you could say that some people are cutters and some people are yankers. And, I was just born to yank."
beatoffto.wav(278K) beatoffto.mp3(278K) beatoffto.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jimmy Mitchelson (Mark Pellegrino): "I had this picture on my cell wall. It was my hope for the future. See, everybody else had pictures of their wives and their girlfriends, but this was my reason for gettin' out."
Streak (Brent Hinkley): "You had a picture of a car on your wall?"
Freddy (Henry Cho): "Damn, Jimmy. Did you beat off to it?"
jimmyloves.wav(116K) jimmyloves.mp3(116K) jimmyloves.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jimmy: "Jimmy loves you."
Jack Mitchelson (Eddie Cibrian): "Jimmy, get off the car."
Jimmy: "Hey, I was just giving it a full body dust."
Jack: "Just try not to spooge on it."
Streak: "Spooge on it?"
louislouis.wav(193K) louislouis.mp3(193K) louislouis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Louis, Louis. Oh, oh, we gotta go. Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi. Louis, Louis."
onyourhead.wav(52K) onyourhead.mp3(52K) onyourhead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "You don't get it? What, did your adoptive mother drop you on your head."
watchit.wav(16K) watchit.mp3(16K) watchit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Watch it, jerkoff."
gonnaget.wav(42K) gonnaget.mp3(42K) gonnaget.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get both of you."
kickyour.wav(84K) kickyour.mp3(84K) kickyour.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "I'm gonna kick your ass."
Jimmy: "What's that, Walter? You say you wanna lick my ass?"
mehermana.wav(119K) mehermana.mp3(119K) mehermana.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mexican Man: US (Alejandro Abellan): "A hora encuentre tu hermana, déle una para mi, okay."
Gilly: "Uh, no! No es me hermana. No es me hermano, telahoro."
buckaroo.wav(12K) buckaroo.mp3(12K) buckaroo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Zahf 'Asian Man' (Zahf Hajee): "What's up buckaroo?"
youarethe.wav(90K) youarethe.mp3(90K) youarethe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Zahf: "You are the sick man! Prevert! Prevert!"
Gilly: "Wait a minute, no. I..."
Zahf: "I'm going to dial 9-11. 9-11!"
Zahf: "I'm calling."
sickman.wav(20K) sickman.mp3(20K) sickman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Zahf: "You are the sick man!"
prevert.wav(23K) prevert.mp3(23K) prevert.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Zahf: "Prevert! Prevert!"
fritobandito.wav(29K) fritobandito.mp3(29K) fritobandito.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Stand down, Frito Bandito. Can't you see I'm playing keno?"
mytruck.wav(163K) mytruck.mp3(163K) mytruck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "He had a charity event last night. A dollar a pop to take a whack at the truck with a sledge hammer. Shit, had a good time."
Gilly: "People paid money to beat the hell out of my truck?"
Dig: "Set me back ten bucks. I think I threw out my shoulder, you know, with your quater panels."
sslowdown.wav(62K) sslowdown.mp3(62K) sslowdown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. (imitates brakes screeching) Slow down, Speedy Gonzales."
goodluck.wav(92K) goodluck.mp3(92K) goodluck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Listen, if you really love this girl as muck as you say you do, just tell her good-bye and good luck."
shoo.wav(19K) shoo.mp3(19K) shoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
camera.wav(113K) camera.mp3(113K) camera.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "Oh my god, stay absolutely still."
Valdine: "I gotta go get my camera."
settledown.wav(17K) settledown.mp3(17K) settledown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Settle down, El Paso."
tilyour12.wav(91K) tilyour12.mp3(91K) tilyour12.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Here you go, Benjy. Nom remember, you promised not to smoke those till you're 12. All right. Right on."
evildude.wav(42K) evildude.mp3(42K) evildude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "He's an evil dude. He is one evil dude."
snarliest.wav(28K) snarliest.mp3(28K) snarliest.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "He is the snarliest cat this tawn has ever seen, baby."
johnqpublic.wav(23K) johnqpublic.mp3(23K) johnqpublic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "You gotta tow the line for Jahn Q. Public."
elephant.wav(22K) elephant.mp3(22K) elephant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "This town's got elephant ears, baby."
canttrust.wav(39K) canttrust.mp3(39K) canttrust.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Damn cryin' shame. You can't trust anyone these days."
slideover.wav(30K) slideover.mp3(30K) slideover.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Come on, El Paso. Slide over to my place."
womenlike.wav(102K) womenlike.mp3(102K) womenlike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "He's what we call a multimillionaire. And in my experience women like dead presidents more than broke boyfriends. No romance without finance, daddy."
maybeblind.wav(54K) maybeblind.mp3(54K) maybeblind.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Shit, love may be blind, but it can still smell that money, baby."
doobiedoctor.wav(134K) doobiedoctor.mp3(134K) doobiedoctor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Jack Mitchelson is the biggest marijuana grower in the Pacific Northwest."
Dig: "You are not seeing the forest for the weed here, man. This dude's a pot grower, a reefer salesman, a doobie doctor."
pervert.wav(38K) pervert.mp3(38K) pervert.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jimmy: "That's what you get, you dirty little pervert! Hit you right on the head!"
yourglasses.wav(57K) yourglasses.mp3(57K) yourglasses.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Freddy: "Maybe you ought to be wearing your glasses."
Jimmy: "Yeah, but they make me look stupid."
ontherun.wav(22K) ontherun.mp3(22K) ontherun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jimmy: "Hey, pervert on the run! Go get him, Freddy!"
reallydo.wav(104K) reallydo.mp3(104K) reallydo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Freddy: "He better not come back!"
Jimmy: "Yeah, that's right, or we'll tie you to a tree, bleep you in the ass while we jerk you off! Show you what we really do to perverts around here!"
whatareyou.wav(88K) whatareyou.mp3(88K) whatareyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Dig, what are you doing up there?"
Dig: "What do you mean, what am I doing up here? You ever try jumping off a roof with no legs? It stings!"
canofspam.wav(142K) canofspam.mp3(142K) canofspam.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Hey, listen, Dig, you sure you're gonna be able to fly with that thing?"
Dig: "I'm Dig McCaffrey, boy! I can fly a can of Spam like this."
Gilly: "Hom'd you lose those legs anyway?"
Dig: "Plane crash. Come on, let's light this firecracker."
beaver50.wav(43K) beaver50.mp3(43K) beaver50.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Holy bleep! It's Beaver 5-0!"
redchina.wav(65K) redchina.mp3(65K) redchina.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Well, ship my ass to big Red China! They want the white boy."
isntfair.wav(25K) isntfair.mp3(25K) isntfair.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Oh, this isn't fair!"
today.wav(185K) today.mp3(185K) today.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Nurse Bautista (Lin Shaye): "Today we're discussing why it is wrong to have sex with someone related to you."
Mr. Murphy (Dan Murphy): "My wife was related to me. I had sex with her."
Nurse Bautista: "That's not the same thing, Mr. Murphy."
Mr. Murphy: "Once a week we'd have sex, till she died. Then it was three or four times a week."
pictures.wav(75K) pictures.mp3(75K) pictures.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Streak: "You got any naked pictures of your sister?"
Gilly: "Of course not."
Streak: "Wanna buy some?"
nakeds.wav(28K) nakeds.mp3(28K) nakeds.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Streak: "You owe me a lot of money for them nakeds!"
screaming.wav(53K) screaming.mp3(53K) screaming.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Streak: "(Streak Screaming his lungs out.)"
pancake.wav(29K) pancake.mp3(29K) pancake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. Campisi (C. Ernst Harth): "Hey, are you the pancake guy?"
leonsbutt.wav(99K) leonsbutt.mp3(99K) leonsbutt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "I found Leon, and I got him dead to rights."
Jo: "That's great, Gilly. Now why don't you just pull your arm out of Leon's butt and we'll take a drive to the hospital."
panties.wav(127K) panties.mp3(127K) panties.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jo: "Are those my missing underware?"
Gilly: "Now, Jo, I can... I can explain these. I... Oh, I didn't steal them. I bought 'em off the same scumbag that sold me these naked pictures of you."
inmycountry.wav(117K) inmycountry.mp3(117K) inmycountry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Zahf: "In my country, for violating a sacred beast, you get beaten to death with bamboo sticks! You're so sick mentally. Prevert!"
eviltrip.wav(37K) eviltrip.mp3(37K) eviltrip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Man, that was one evil trip."
mentalhome.wav(23K) mentalhome.mp3(23K) mentalhome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Streak: "Ain't a mental home's been built that'll hold Streak."
myhome.wav(201K) myhome.mp3(201K) myhome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gilly: "Now, wait a minute. That's my truck."
Streak: "Get your hands up!"
Gilly: "Was your truk. Mine now."
Streak: "Oh, it... it looks really nice."
Gilly: "She's my home now. So technically, you're standing on my front lawn. So why don't you back your ass up off my property and into them woods."
thebody.wav(165K) thebody.mp3(165K) thebody.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gina: "The body was burned beyond recognition, ma'am. By the time we got to the scene, some coyotes had come by and torn off some of the major body parts. The even ate his..."
Sheriff Merle Hobbs (Richard Riehle): "Gina! I think that's enough description of the deceased for right now."
Gina: "Yeah, okeydokey."
blowme.wav(28K) blowme.mp3(28K) blowme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jack: "How dare you ruin my wedding."
Walter: "Blow me!"
youdidthis.wav(38K) youdidthis.mp3(38K) youdidthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Valdine: "You did this! I'm gonn kill you! You..."
theghost.wav(116K) theghost.mp3(116K) theghost.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Holy bleep! It's the Ghost of El Paso Past."
Gilly: "Hi, Dig"
Dig: "'Hi, Dig,' bleep. I thought you was barbecue."
upyourass.wav(138K) upyourass.mp3(138K) upyourass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Dig McCaffrey at your service."
Gilly: "'I'll fly up your ass if the meney's right.' I cannot believe you put this on here."
Dig: "It's good, huh? That's good."
theleast.wav(44K) theleast.mp3(44K) theleast.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dig: "Hell, it's the least I can do after whailing on your truck with a sledgehammer."
blowit.wav(82K) blowit.mp3(82K) blowit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Walter: "Now, Waldine, don't be so sad. You're not losing a daughter here. You're gaining a son."
Valdine: "Blow it out your ass, Walter."